What is it about smoking? I hate it. I absolutely hate it.
But I also love it.
And I don't mean love in a blissful, happy sense. I mean obsessive, infatuated, bottom-lip-hanging-dumbly-with-a-double-chin besotted kind of "love."
It's not because of the disgusting smell (that only worsens and sours) or the horrid and terrifying side effects of cigarettes (I'm all about health,) it's the hypnotic, beautiful smoke. Holy Hannah Banana, I love the look of smoke. It gives the illusion of time slowing, of life pausing for a moment to exhale, of a person taking a minute to stop, just stop everything, light up and ponder.
However (this is a huge however,) if you try to smoke next to me at a bus stop or outside a building I will run away. Like, ew. Real life smoking is nasty. I guess it's similar to a fictional romance scene -- girl catches the intense stare of a beautiful stranger across the street. He approaches her and makes some odd gesture or says something strange and she's putty in his hands (terrible example, but I'm sure you get the drift) -- when in real life we've been taught that murderers can be handsome too, and would probably be too freaked out and suspicious of someone's severe stare.
Besides, most real-life smokers lose the art of smoking. They're so frantic to suck back the nicotine and all those toxic chemicals, the subtleties that probably made them attracted to smoking in the first place are lost: wafting white smoke dancing before their face, creating a cloudy veil to hide their eyes and intentions. Nope. Suck suck suck. Stub stub stub.
I've discovered I love the theory of smoking, but not the practice. I love it when I realize my character is a smoker, although they're never a smoker for long because I naturally create a relationship with them and want to save them (which is bad, I know.) I will forever be entranced and charmed by the look of smoke (especially when the film or photograph is in black and white... like, come on!) or reading about a character exhaling a pure puff, but I will never partake nor enjoy it in reality.